Hello.

Kai Ling here. I don't wish to ignore this blog completely so HELLO!
Hope you all missed me. :D

I'll come by to give little posts randomly at times.

And I've just updated most of my friends' links so feel free to link anyone from here.
Changed from blogger to livejournal to wordpress and now I'm back to blogger at http://www.ehkayale.blogspot.com/

Surfy's link is updated too. I guess he wouldn't mind me updating it. RIGHT SURFY?
Enjoy his sense of humour like how I always enjoyed. :)

But do come by once in a while, because you never know when we'll feel like blogging here. :P


Toodles!

Labels: kailing

its always amazing how songs can do wonders to a person's life, it can exuberate a party, redefine romantic moments, heal the broken, inspire the weak and so much more. there is always one song that i will always remember

i really hope you guys will actually play the song and look throught the lyrics and read what i've got to say and try to feel what i feel. guys who are single, put yourself in my shoes and try to imagine you're attached, see yourself doing what i'm doing and i hope you get to feel what love is. its not bout getting into a relationship, there's much more to it. girls who have broken up with your boyfriends because you feel you're not getting enough attention or he's not doing his part, put yourself into Kailing's position and "see" the different circumstances. i hope you'll realise the amount of effort he puts in, painstakingly, though he might seem to be ignorant at times, he might need a break but he doesn't know how to put it to you. i'm not saying i'm a role model in relationships and love but i'm being absolutely honest, i hope with all my heart you guys will be touched in a way somehow or other.



Blind
I was young but I wasn't naive
I watched helpless as he turned around to leave
And still I have the pain I have to carry
A past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried
After all this time I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

I would fall asleep
Only in hopes of dreaming
That everything would be like is was before
But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor
After all this time I never thought we'd be here

Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

After all this time
Would you ever wanna leave it
Maybe you could not believe it
That my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you will ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
And I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me dies when I let you go

this song defined who i really am in a relationship, the chorus is the main part. it says my love for you is blind, and that i loved you more than you'll ever know. the person whom i loved and loved with all that i am is and always will be Kailing. my love for her was blind to the point i didnt care bout the hurts and pain she caused me. i forgived her everytime she makes a mistake, and i just love her for who she is and who she isn't. love is so big its impossible to mean it without actions, she knows how much i love her, but to what extent? everytime i plan so hard to make sure dates are fool proof and perfect, i take everything into account, or how bout taking the trouble, despite the inconveniences to make sure she gets to class or gets home safe and sound, despite all these trouble, its still a pleasure and a joy for me. i never compare her to other girls, bout beauty or character, i know it'll hurt her and so i refrain, just love her for all that she is and all that she is not. all i want to do is to love her to the best of my ability and with everything i am, be there when she needs me, and to be loved by her. every guy loving a girl needs love from a woman's good heart. she loves me, Kailing loves me, i know it deep down from my heart.



Like You'll Never See Me Again
If I had no more time
No more time left to be here
Would you cherish what we had?
Was it everything that you were looking for?
If I couldn’t feel your touch
And no longer were you with me
I’d be wishing you were here
To be everything that I’d be looking for

I don’t wanna forget the present is a gift
And I don’t wanna take for granted the time you may have here with me
‘Cause Lord only knows another day is not really guaranteed

So every time you hold me
Hold me like this is the last time
Every time you kiss me
Kiss me like you'll never see me again
Every time you touch me
Touch me like this is the last time
Promise that you'll love me
Love me like you'll never see me again

How many really know what love is?
No you never will
Do you know until you lose it
That it's everything that we are looking for
When I wake up in the morning
You're beside me
I'm so thankful that I found
Everything that I been looking for

I don't wanna forget the present is a gift
And I don't wanna take for granted the time you may have here with me'
Cause Lord only knows another day is not really guaranteed

So everytime you hold me
Hold me like this is the last time
Every time you kiss me
Kiss me like you'll never see me again
Every time you touch me
Touch me like this is the last time
Promise that you'll love me
Love me like you'll never see me again


this is another song that touched me, what would you do when time is running out on you? would you treasure the times we shared, and everytime we're together, what goes through your mind and how much love and passion will you put in?? thats all question for all to ponder. will you be complacent and treat it like just another date or are you gonna treat it like its the last one always, giving the best you can, even if it might not be good enough sometimes. i often wonder how i treat Kailing sometimes and i realise that though i try my best every time, i would still unknowingly hurt her feelings with my words or my actions. i admit i'm a hard guy to please because of my ego and i've seen the times where you gave your best but i was stubborn and immature and i broke your heart. many things i never meant for them to happen but they do, and i just dont have the ability to keep things under tabs. the future is full of uncertainties that when i look back, i've taken you for granted quite a few times to be honest, and now, i cherish all that has happened, every smile, every kiss, every hug, every joy, every time we're together, every pain, every tear, everything good or bad, i treasure those times. never have i felt so loved by any person, including my parents too surprisingly, till you walked into my life. your eyes saw through the facade i created, with such intense love but yet so gentle at the same time. you accepted my imperfections, my bad characters but most of all, you accepted me for the way i am. with such love, there's nothing more i'd ask for but to be with you always.

I Love you Kailing,
Surf

My third week of attachment just ended, another five more to go. been a tiring 3 weeks, reason being, work starts at 8, i gotta take the company bus at 720 and i gotta be up by 620 or so. working life is so screwed up, wake up, off to work, knock off then its night and hours before the next day begins, so mundane and routine. i cant imagine myself in this kinda lifestyle. anyway, work is really great on the contrary, my colleagues are very nice to me, work is fun, interesting but there are long waiting hours in between which can be killed by watching South Park or going through tons of movies in my supervisors 500gig hard disk, sweet. and i just got my paycheck this noon. amount is pathetic but its allowance, not salary so no complains. at least i'm enjoying myself.

there's something thats brooding in my house that really irks me, and that is the lack of wisdom. i know i may sound harsh, trying to judge like a professor but its a crisis going on in my house. i say crisis as in, real crisis. my family members have some problem using their brain to assess circumstances and situations. imagine this, my dad comes home moody and disgruntled starts quarrelling with my mom. yada-yada-yada. atmosphere is fucking tensed like a time bomb's bout to detonate. then dinner time comes and my mom asks my brother to help with the setting of the table. he's glued to the computer, first call no response, second no response, even more hypnotised. third call all hell breaks loose, mom starts losing control and screams. brother goes defensive and yells back, dad gets pissed and yells even louder. 3 idiots yelling across the house, not much of a crisis but if it happens every other day, then its a fucking crisis. i admit i can get involved too but as much as i want to, i try my best to stay clear. measure up the situation, check of signs of distress then act, either to shut up and act retard or to get involved. well, that's just me after maturing from an angst-filled teenager to a more mature teenager i'd say.

time is never a stroll, its always on the move, so eager to dash across that bustling road, ignoring the dangers that it can pose. so real but always disregarded by all of us. we know the consequences, we know the possible worst case scenarios but we so blatantly want to commit that mistake of poor time management or just loathing around, wasting time. i wont judge cuz i fall under that inevitable category of mistake makers so i just encourage all to plan wisely not for yourself but for the others that will get affected too.

after not seeing her for such a long time, there's this sick feeling unnerving inside me. ever since i started attachment and she started work, everything wasn't going fine. now that she stopped work temporarily, situations are not improving as well. i wake up early, drops her a message around 12 noon and round 130 she'll say she just got up, then i wont hear from her that much cuz she's doing god-knows-what at home. then finally i knock off feeling tired as night draws but she gets more energetic. i'll collapse on bed near 11 and that's where our relationship's going. no more calls, just one message to bid good night, an 'i love you' and that's it, next day, almost the same events happen. getting 6 to 7 messages from her in one single go is almost impossible when i'm at work, unless she is totally bored dead. we still meet up, go for dinner, hug and stuff but i dont feel complete. its not entirely her fault too, i have a role to play too and maybe i'm not playing it right. it takes two hands to clap. i'm being very honest right now. i dont mean to hurt but whatever that's happening, we have to get over it fast. Period.

Surf

Labels: lots of stuff

It seem like this blog became mine already. Asaph is too busy for this blogging shiet. Haha.. And I haven't seen him for a decade lol! Anyway I've gotten my results. Little effort leads to shitty results. So can't blame. But I like the fact that I got B+ for language, though. Means I'm not totally bad at English afterall.

Yesterday I got myself a new specs at queensway! Settled for a full frame because..
1) Sis and lady in charge thinks dark brown half frame looks good on me.
2) I don't want to heed their advice. I'm trying to be difficult
3) I can't take care of half frame specs [From the situation of my current specs]

Lady: Hmm, I think the half frame looks better on you. Full frame gives too heavy look.
Me : I thought so too.
Lady: Moreover full frame makes you like the studious type.
Lady: And half frame is more popular.
Me : *Nods in agreement*
.
.
.
.
.
.
Me : Ok! I shall have the full frame. Thanks. *Smiles sweetly at lady*

Haha, nerdy Jia Ling is nerdy. Wait, I mean, Kai Ling. Look what you've done, Royston. Actually I'm tempted to have a tagboard but Asaph doesn't want one. Although I know you heartless people out there doesn't tag me. Still looks better with one. HERH! D:

Sister is away for 3days camp. Brother is back from Brunei with an injured ankle. Me? Slacking at home like nobody's business because I'm jobless, friendless, and hellopandaless. Haha! No hello pandas to crunch on while watching the most boring programmes on TV or surfin' TEH INTERNET which is supposed to be fun and all [TOTALLY NOT!]. Unless you get me some . .. OH WAIT I've got 'MY GIRL' to finish watching and i'd totally forgotten bout it! :D
Now, who says I've got nothing to do? (Everyone points finger at Kailing)

Pardon me for being so lame, get me a wheelchair!

(PS: Anyone out there has a job for me? I can even be the coffee girl! lol.. Strictly no beer girl though. Ha-ha-ha.)

Hi Mr CEO, coffee, tea, or me?

Labels: random post about nothing significant

Back to the house, feeling so much more comfortable and safe, and clean [because I feel insecure, always alone, and also atmosphere-wise]. But one weird thing I discovered. I tend to rub my eyes more when I'm at home. I managed not to when I was there the two weeks or so. For your info, if you don't already know, I'm actually referring to my grandparents' place.

Then there's my face. I can't seem to get rid of the dryness despite applying lotion many many times a day. And there's my contact lens, till now I don't know which side is correct =.=" [Apparently the night before, I place both in one side of the case. Dumb I know. LOL] I can't tell at all. Both seem to be the same when I swap. Means that actually I can purchase same degree for both eyes. Opticians are wicked. BS will be wicked.

Shopping today with sister. Gotten her a new bag, drank some soup at NYNY, and also a top for myself. Its really scary how an impromptu decision to accompany her caused a 150bucks deduction to my card. I shall lock myself at home as much as I can. Actually there's no reason for me to go out at all, anyway. Most are working, some are schooling. Those who are free, I probably have no intention to hang out with them at all.

Hi Alda, come to my place! We can chat all day! :D

Brain blocked, have a boring holiday like mine, ppl!

xoxo,
kailing

Hello. I'm working now. I'm bored. I'm sorry I did not update. Thats all.

If you want to see my CNY photos, please go to www.ehkayass.blogspot.com

Thank you very much.

This is how I become. Formal. For working in this kind of customer service environment.


love love,
Kai Ling


[2 hours to go...... =.="]